This is not good. I've had a happy, uneventful childhood, no discernable mental illness, and minimal racial persecution. As a result, I am not interesting and will never do anything brilliant and amazing. I will not die of a failed liver transplant at 32 and be endlessly glorified by the media for another 32 years after my death, or be forever surrounded by the posthumous mystique that comes from being the tragically maladjusted, underequipped celebrity of a generation. I can fight this, though. There is still time to make my back-story interesting, should I ever need a good inside-the-jacket article. Better still, I could just make it all up: in every book a writer has hundreds of pages to tell their life story but only a couple paragraphs to lie through their teeth about their history and social status.
Greg McLeod graduated simultaneously from Harvard, MIT, and ITT Tech in 1906. He lives on a plantation in Iceland with his 6 wives and (at last count) between 30 and 38 children. When he is not writing, Greg trains his beloved poodles to fly and collects and shrinks world figures into bite-sized pieces, covering them in the finest belgian chocolate (Sky Mall, $19.95 each). In his infancy, he wrote several adaptations for the stage including Macbeth, The Effect Of Gamma Rays On Man-In-The-Moon Marigolds, and Beverly Hills 90210. J.K. Rowling recently wrote a series of books based on his early life at wizarding school. This is his first novel, but he's pretty sure Charles Dickens often channeled his spirit in writing works such as Oliver Twist and Oliver Twist 2: Back In Buisness.
That reads like the world's worst mad lib, doesn't it?
1 comment:
You write very well.
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