Book of Lists

1. Are you wanting something you can't have?
It's more I want something the judge says I can't have.

4. Have you ever ran from the police?
Yeah, but I didn't do anything wrong, so they didn't chase me.

6. Ever licked someone's cheek?
In a former life. As a dog.

7. Favorite time of day?
Train time.

8. Ever been given a breathalizer test?
Last christmas, from my aunt.

9. Been to college?
Occasionally.

11. Can you lick your toe?
Can you lick my toe?

24. What was your kindergarten teacher's name?
She told me I could call her whatever I wanted.

25. Do you get nervous in front of large groups of people?
If they're picturing me naked.

29. Do you have socks on?
No... does that turn you on?

38. Does it take a lot to earn someones trust?
After what I did, it'll probably take therapy.

41. What's your opinion on same sex marriage?
I don't think marriage should change people's sex lives.

42. Who's one person you cannot stand?
FDR. Oh wait, that's one person WHO cannot stand.

53. Are you a fast typer?
Yeah, I can type 150 words a minute, but it's in my own language.

56. Are you a crazy person?
What gave it away?

59. Who called you last?
People call me Greg.

60. Do you like cheese?
What are you insinuating?

68. How tall are you?
Tall enough to know better.

70. Do you laugh at your own jokes?
Only when no one else will. So yes.

96. Lied in the last 24 hours?
Yes. Wait... no. Wait, I just did. So yes. Now.